How to Wrestle a Pig

When you are to compete in a pig-wrestling match, you do not show up in a tuxedo. What you do, is you dress in your sturdiest carhartt ensemble and get down dirty in the mud with that fucking pig, fighting dirty to win a dirty match.

Joe Biden needs to fire a lot of people in his campaign, because they sent him to wrestle a pig in top hat and tails. They prepared him ENTIRELY wrong. They spent days at the presidential retreat at Camp David, filling his head with policy points until they leaked out his ears.

But policy points get lost in the firehose of bullshit that Trump brings to the pig sty. One cannot respond to a Gish Gallop, which is Trump's favorite rhetorical cudgel. The Gish Gallop is named after a right wing nutjob who discovered, if you turn a firehose of bullshit on a person, the end result is that they CANNOT answer. Try to answer one of a dozen points in the remarks, and you are accused of not knowing or addressing all the others. Try to address them all, and you run out of time (also, Trump's hordes do not give a rat's ass about policy points. Just personal digs).

And that, my friends, is where you aim with Trump, if you really, truly want to throw him off balance, and appear stronger than him. Remember, every accusation with him is a confession. In a similar vein, the fact that he considers personal digs a favorite cudgel indicates that he, personally, regards character slights as valid and powerful, likely because he fears people talking about his own deeply flawed person. He insults because he knows that insults hurt. He feels this.

Everyone knows Biden is a policy wonk. Policy points are definitely important, but in a pig sty, they get buried in pig shit before they have a chance to draw breath. Trump is where finer points of policy go to die. What Biden needed (and needs) to do, is attack Trump's character, as there is a shit ton of material to work with, there.

At Camp David, they should have listed all Trump's flaws, and narrowed them down to about a half dozen pointed critical remarks about him as a person. He should study these six points.

And, when Biden was asked a question, or given a chance to respond to Trump's firehose of lies, all that needs be done is to turn to the television cameras, and calmly state, "Every accusation from him is a confession," and/or, "Man, this cat is all lies. Lies all the way down, Jack."

And then reply with one of the sharp knives.

For example:

Question about borders?
"He cheated on Melania."

Question on NATO?

"He is a traitor who shared state secrets. He also cheated on Melania."

Question on Jan 6?

"What asshole waits til the house burns down before calling the fire department? Also, it is the same asshole who cheated on Melania Trump."

Variations exist:

Question on Russia?

"Regardless of her profession, you had sex with an adult entertainer while your wife was recovering from childbirth."

Question on accepting election results?

"Who actually believes a cheater like Donald J. Trump, known felon, will accept loss and not cheat? Someone needs to ask Melania, his latest wife, on whom he cheated."

Trump states something like, "I don't need money for the campaign, I have lots of it. Lots."
Biden answers thusly: "Your riches are as fake as your spray tan. You are a liar who says on the one hand he needs no cash, but then turns around and milks his suckers for their social security money, much like your baby boy sucked nourishment from his mother, on whom you cheated."

If there will be two halves to the debate, perhaps focus on one deep flaw for the first half, and another for the second, then close with a summary of the two, calmly, and maybe a little bit arrogantly.

Repeating these things WILL get under Trump's skin. It WILL throw him off balance. It WILL put him on the defensive. It WILL weaken him as a candidate.

This is how Biden needs to respond to every debate question, regardless of topic.

If you're going to wrestle a pig, wear sturdy clothes and fight to win.